penis enlagement supplement
From birth to young adulthood, the prostate grows from about the size of a pea to about the size of a walnut. Most men experience a second period of prostate growth in their mid- to late 40s. At this time, cells in the central portion of the gland - where the prostate surrounds the urethra - begin to reproduce more rapidly. As tissues in the area enlarge, they often compress the urethra and partially block urine flow. Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is the medical term for this condition. It should be noted that the prostate may also become enlarged due to bacterial infection, the term used for this condition is acute or chronic bacterial prostatitis. There is also another non-bacterial form of chronic prostatitis which is actually more common than its counterpart, the cause for it is unknown.
Prostate enlargement affects about half of men in their 60s and up to 90 percent of men in their 70s and 80s. The presence or absence of prostate gland enlargement is not related to the development of prostate cancer.
Conventional treatment depends on your signs and symptoms and may include medications, surgery or non-surgical therapies such as acupuncture, herbs, and nutritional supplements.
Signs & Symptoms Prostate enlargement varies in severity from man to man, and doesn't always pose a problem. Only about half the men with prostate enlargement experience signs and symptoms that become noticeable or bothersome enough for them to seek medical treatment. These signs and symptoms may include:
*Weak urine stream *Difficulty starting urination *Stopping and starting again while urinating *Dribbling at the end of urination *Frequent need to urinate *Increased frequency of urination at night (nocturia) *Urgent need to urinate *Not being able to completely empty the bladder *Blood in the urine (hematuria) *Urinary tract infection *Pain in the lower abdomen *Discomfort during ejaculation *Fever and chills (infection)
Traditional Chinese Medicine Traditional Chinese Medicine generally sees the condition of prostate enlargement as an accumulation of Dampness and Heat in the lower portion of the torso (low Jiao), or as cold that has entered the Liver channel, quite often accompanied by a Kidney deficiency as an underlying root. This condition gives rise to all the troubling urinary symptoms listed above. Acupuncture, moxibustion, and laser acupuncture displays good results in helping restore normal urinary function (Luo YN et al. World Journal of Acupuncture-Moxibustion), and Chinese herbal therapy has been shown to eliminate the root causes of prostate enlargement. Together, Chinese herbal medicine and Acupuncture are an important choice in overcoming the battle with prostate enlargement. In one study, electro-acupuncture was also shown to help chronic prostatitis cases that were unresponsive to conventional therapies (Ikeuchi T, Iguchi H).
Treatments with acupuncture (traditional, electro, laser) and moxibustion (heat therapy) are usually once per week unless there is considerable pain 2-3 treatments per week for 1-3 weeks may be warranted. Chinese herbal therapy will be administered in the form of daily tea, pills, powders, or drops. Some nutritional supplements and western herbal therapy may also be recommended. Diet will also be reviewed from a traditional energetic point of view to help eliminate anything that may be aggravating the prostate condition.
Chronic non-bacterial prostatitis The most recent scientific research claims that chronic non-bacterial prostatitis has unknown etiology (the cause is not known). This is an unfortunate situation considering it is more common that it’s infectious counterparts, acute and chronic bacterial prostatitis.
Symptoms include pain and discomfort in the pelvic region or CPPS (chronic pelvic pain syndrome), some low back pain, frequent urination, and an unfinished feeling after urination. There is usually no history of urinary tract infections (as in bacterial prostatitis), no redness, and patients do not obtain symptomatic relief with antibiotics.
There also seems to be more of a feeling of ‘cold’ (rather than ‘heat’ which would be associated with the infectious bacterial prostatitis). It should also be noted that emotional problems such as depression and erectile dysfunction more often than not accompany this chronic condition and should be properly diagnosed and treated.
Treatment Studies and Research Some men say they find relief with NSAID’s (non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs), although this is an avenue that cannot be undertaken forever as they suppress the immune system.
The Merck manual is quoted saying that hot sitz baths and prostate massage are two of the best ways to provide symptomatic relief.
A recent study showed the benefits of alternative therapies including phytotherapy (quercetin, bee pollen) and physical therapies such as acupuncture (Shoskes and Manickam, dept. or Urology Cleveland Clinic Florida). The relief from acupuncture displayed that there is a neuromuscular component to chronic prostatitis. This is further proven in another study done by Chen and Nickel at the King Street Medical Arts Centre in Mississauga Ontario Canada where acupuncture successfully ameliorated symptoms in men with chronic prostatitis/chronic pelvic pain syndrome.
Another study performed by Chen, Gao, Liu, and Shen at Zhejiang College Hangzhou showed promise with the use of laser acupuncture.
Other herbal supplementation has received scientific recognition as of late; pygeum for urinary symptoms, saw palmetto and quercetin for pain, and beta-sitosterol to aid with urinary flow.
Moxibustion, a form of heat therapy used with acupuncture has also shown improvement in patients that participated in a study at Fushun Municipal Hospital, and another showed significant improvement at Nanjing Medical University when a combination of antibiotics and acupuncture were used in the treatment of CPPS and chronic prostatitis.
Years of empirical evidence also gives hope to those that seek out the aid of a qualified Chinese herbal medicine practitioner.
penis enargement system natural penis enargement technique penis enlargement pill review penile enlargement exercise penis enlargement tool penis enlagement before and after picture penis enlargement pump penis enlagement pill magna rx
penis enlagement supplement
Numerous research is being completed everyday on breast enlargement products. These products are either ingested by mouth or massaged into the breast using a cream, and can be manufactured or found naturally in the environment.
Manufactured enlargement Products
The breast enlargement products that are available from a laboratory are usually pills. This type of product is the commonly sought after for breast augmentation, as it does not involve any surgery. Before this breast enlargement product is released to the general public, it will undergo clinical trials and the results of these trials are then published for others to read. As long as someone is correctly taking breast enlargement pills, they will work.
Many pharmaceutical companies have developed creams as well, which contain the topical versions of the ingredients found within the breast enlargement pills. enlargement creams are popular items as well because they are easy to apply. As a breast enlargement product, some enlargement creams are used as an adjunct to pills. They are usually applied everyday for a period of a few months to see the best results.
Another type of manufactured breast enlargement product is a breast enlargement pump. They are not as popular as pills or creams, but the product is thought to build up a pressure in the breast by using a suction cup. This pressure leads to an increase in the cell size and fluid in the breasts.
Natural enlargement Products
Most often plant products are used to provide a natural breast enlargement product. These plant products will usually contain estrogen, that functions to stimulate breast tissue and cause an increase in the breast size. Therefore, the most common breast enlargement products occurring in the environment include the saw palmetto and the dandelion, and extensive studies have been conducted on their successful roles as a breast enlargement product.
Feeling Full & Firm by using PUERARIAN Breast Cream
This amazing cream is excellent for breast firming and enlargement. Various studies confirmed that this product has a high success for enhancing women breast. All Skin Type
Ingredients: Pueraria Mirifica and other herb extracts
Direction: Use once in the morning and in the night. Apply onto breast area and massage for 3-5 minutes until it is fully absorbed.
Precautions: Not recommended for pregnant women, feeding mothers or women diagnosed with medical conditions of the breast.
To Free Natural breast enlargement BREAST SPRAY $ 40 at http://www.phuketherb.com/
penile enlargement before and after photo herbal natural penile enlargement pennis enlargement excersizes medical penis enargement best pennis enlargement top rated pennis enlargement pills penile enlargment secret pennis enlargement surgeries penis enlagement supplement
Muscle Growth is a very essential part of muscle development. As the body grows so does the muscle. Muscles are the storehouse of energy. They store glycogen or glucose from the food (especially carbohydrates) consumed. Later, the muscle converts glucose and supplies energy as and when the body requires. In a normal human being, Muscle Growth is dependent on the human growth hormones, nutritious food and the type of physical activities involved.
Normally, in a body, a muscle breaks down to be re-built again. In the process of rebuilding activity, when it accumulates more than what is being broken down, the muscle is said to gain. This involves an increase in mass and growth simultaneously. It has been found that a more muscular body helps to cut down fat, improving lifespans.
With an increasing demand for a well-toned body, more and more people are resolving to pursue advanced exercise regimes that promise to convert muscles to fat. They take up light weight training, cardiovascular exercises and aerobics, along with a healthy diet. In the muscle building activities, especially in the case of body builders, the Muscle Growth or hypertrophy is worked on. That is, the person involved in body building tries to achieve abnormal enlargement of muscles. Here they make use of supplementary sources to increase the cells or the mass of the muscle.
For instance, a person involved in bodybuilding tries weight lifting, high-protein drinks, steroids or hormonal injections to mutate or activate the growth related cells. Muscles are involved in breaking up and rebuilding activity are better known as protein turnover. In this process, when the muscle-rebuilding activity increases over the rate of muscle breakdown, there is a muscle gain, a growth. Researches have identified myostatin genes as involved in controlling the growth of muscles in the body. It has also been identified that a mutation or block in the genes will help in muscle mass and growth. Muscle Growth is important to build muscles to fight fat and flab, and to stay fit.
cheapest penis enlargement pill penile enlargment technique plastic surgery penis enhancement penis enlagement picture penis enlargment operation pennis enlargement pic before and after pnis enlargement picture pnis enlargement pic before and after penis enlagement supplement
Research reports that two out of four young people have unhealthy ideas about eating, dieting and weight. With the alarming increase of eating disorders, dieting, and obesity among children as young as 5 and 6, it's crucial these days for parents to proactively work to promote healthy eating and body image in their children.
It has been found that in households where mom talks about feeling fat, 81% of their teenage daughters said they felt fat too. Our girls, especially, are being easily confused and influenced when it comes to body image development. In a culture where young people are bombarded with skinny, glossy, and superficial images, parents can be a mirror reflecting understanding, reassurance, wisdom, and love that their children can look into with faith and not fear. Many factors influence whether an adolescent will develop a positive or negative body image. As a parent, you can learn to be supportive the next time your child says, “Mom, I feel fat or Mom, I hate my life,” and be ready with an answer by saying, “that sounds like an important feeling, tell me more.”
The Slenderizing Beauty Ideal
Everyday 56% of the women in the United States are on diets. We have a 30-billion-dollar-a-year diet industry. The historical view of the ideal female body has changed over the years and influenced this dieting America. Although many factors contribute to the changing body shape of girls, including better nutrition, earlier onset of puberty and other societal influences. The fact remains that regardless of the reason, the common trend over time points to a slenderizing standard of the female ideal. With standards like this, it is no wonder that children are dissatisfied with their bodies.
When it came to looks – teens are most concerned about weight. A Teen People survey of 1000 teens, showed that 39% worried about weight. Between 2000 and 2001, cosmetic surgery on girls 18 and younger had increased by 22%.
Another study reported that after girls viewed pictures of models in fashion magazines:
69% reported that magazine pictures influenced their idea of the perfect body shape and
47% reported wanting to lose weight because of magazine pictures.
This study found that those who were frequent readers of fashion magazines were 2-3 times more likely than infrequent readers to start dieting to lose weight because of a magazine article.
What Are Eating Disorders?
Is it any wonder, then, that eating disorders affect 7 million women and 1 million men in the United States? Eating disorders include anorexia, bulimia nervosa and binge-eating disorder. People with anorexia starve themselves to dangerously thin levels, at least 15% below their appropriate weight. People with bulimia binge uncontrollably on large amounts of food--sometimes thousands of calories at a time--and then purge the calories out of their bodies through vomiting, starving, excessive exercise, laxatives, or other methods. People with binge-eating disorder eat uncontrollably, but they do not purge the calories.
Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified (or EDNOS) is a new classification of disordered eating that falls between anorexia, binge eating and bulimia. Unfortunately, since this type of 'sub-clinical' disorder is often not life-threatening, there appears to be little research available on the topic. One of the goals at FINDINGbalance.com, the first national organization dedicated to helping those who struggle with ENDOS, is to begin collecting new information through input from their website visitors and other existing sources. Visit the www.FINDINGbalance.com website to take the “Weird Eater” quiz and take a closer look at how dieting habits can lead to disordered eating.
Anorexia Warning Signs for Adolescents & Adults:
• Loss of menstrual period
• Dieting obsessively when not overweight
• Claiming to feel "fat" when overweight is not a reality
• Preoccupation with food, calories, nutrition, and/or cooking
• Denial of hunger
• Excessive exercising, being overly active
• Frequent weighing
• Strange food-related behaviors
• Episodes of binge-eating
• 15% or more below normal body weight/rapid weight loss
• Depression
• Slowness of thought/memory difficulties
• Hair loss
* In children any combination of these symptoms should be considered serious and an immediate evaluation by an eating disorder professional or physician is recommended.
Source: www.remudaranch.com
Bulimia Warning Signs:
• Excessive concern about weight
• Strict dieting followed by eating binges
• Frequent overeating, especially when distressed
• Bingeing on high calorie, sweet foods
• Use of laxatives, diuretics, strict dieting, vigorous exercise, and/or vomiting to control weight
• Leaving for the bathroom after meals
• Being secretive about binges or vomiting
• Planning binges or opportunities to binge
• Feeling out of control
• Depressive moods
Source: www.remudaranch.com
EDNOS Warning Signs:
• You're always on a diet, always coming off a diet, or always getting ready to go on one again (chronic dieting).
• You categorize foods as 'safe' and 'off limits', but weigh within normal ranges and are not participating in bulimia.
• You eliminate entire food groups from your diet.
• You are obsessed with exercising but eat fairly regularly.
• You binge and/or purge occasionally, but not more than a few times a month.
• You skip social occasions because you feel fat, or because you are afraid of what's being served, yet your weight is normal.
• You believe that everyone is as focused on your weight as you are.
• You refuse to eat regular meals, choosing instead to 'nibble' throughout the day on small portions of food (which usually leads to bingeing).
Source: www.findingbalance.com
How Common Are Eating Disorders?
Eating disorders are serious illnesses. The malnourishment of both anorexia and bulimia affects the body rapidly and can lead to hypoglycemia, pancreatitis, enlargement of the heart, heart attacks, congestive heart failure, permanent brain shrinkage with loss of memory and IQ, infertility, and osteoporosis. It is not uncommon for a teenage girl with anorexia to have the bones of an 80 year old woman. The condition is not reversible. Ultimately, approximately, 6% of people with anorexia and 1% with bulimia will die from their eating disorder.
According to Remuda Ranch, an inpatient eating disorder treatment center in Arizona, estimates indicate that 1/3 of American women and 15% of men will have an eating disorder or related problem at some time in their lives. Fifty years ago, eating disorders were practically unheard of. Research suggest a strong genetic component to eating disorders. People who are prone to perfectionism and low self-esteem may be most at risk.
In today’s world, the cultural pressures for young people to obtain and maintain super-thin bodies are extreme. In this environment, thinness readily becomes a way of dealing with many emotional issues. However, outcome studies have shown there is much hope for people with eating disorders. The good news is that approximately 75% of patients with eating disorders do recover.
How Can Parents Prevent Disordered Eating?
Parents can do much to spare their children a life-long struggle with eating and weight. One of the most important ways is to examine their own beliefs and prejudices as a parent about weight and appearance. Parents should communicate acceptance and respect for themselves and other people regardless of weight. This will reduce some of the pressure children may feel to change their bodies. Especially, discourage the idea that a particular diet or body size can reliably lead to happiness. Do not model or encourage dieting. Accept and talk about the fact that diets don’t work and the dangers of altering one’s body through dieting.
Tips For Healthy Eating
In our diet crazed culture, what really is healthy eating? Here are a few tips that will go a long way in feeding your family a balanced mealtime experience. For starters, teach your children to listen to their body -- eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full. Remember balance means that most of the time you eat because you are hungry and use food as fuel for your body. But, it also means that sometimes you eat simply when the food appeals to you or when it is appropriate in a social setting (e.g., popcorn at the movies), allowing yourself to eat for enjoyment.
Try to eat different foods everyday, in other words, create an adventure for your taste buds. Aim to inspire your family to eat 3 meals and 1 to 3 snacks a day. The idea that snacking between meals is bad is a thing of the past. By teaching your kids to eat every 2 to 4 hours, they will prevent their body from getting overly hungry which could set them up to overeat later. Plus, the body uses the fuel from food very efficiently when smaller amounts of food is eaten more frequently throughout the day.
The bottom line: eat normally, exercise moderately, and let your body weigh what it wants. Yes, it will take courage and perseverance, but the rewards of knowing you are teaching your family how to eat for pleasure is a true legacy to leave.
Resources
BOOKS
DeVillera, Julia. GirlWise. Roseville, California: Prima Publishing; 2002.
Gaesser, Glenn. Big Fat Lies: The Truth about Your Weight and Your Health. New York: Ballantine; 1996.
Hersh. Sharon A. “Mom, I feel fat!” Colorado Springs, Colorado: WaterBrook Press; 2001.
Hutchinson, Marcia. 200 Ways to Love the Body You Have. CA: Crossing Press; 1999.
Jacobs-Brumberg, Joan. The Body Project: An Intimate History of American Girls. NewYork: Random House; 1997.
Jantz, Gregory L. Hope, Help & Healing for Eating Disorders. Colorado Springs, Colorado: Waterbrook Press; 2002.
Omichinski, Linda. Staying off the Diet Roller Coaster: Advicezone.com; 2000.
Rhodes, Constance. Life Inside the Thin Cage. Colorado Springs. Colorado: Waterbrook Press; 2003.
Quart, Alissa. Branded: The Buying and Selling of Teenagers. Cambridge, Massachusetts: Perseus Books Group; 2003.
Tribole, Evelyn. Intuitive Eating: A Recovery Book for the Chronic Dieter. New York: St. Martin's Press; 1995.
WEBSITES AND PROGRAMS
HUGS
HUGS for Better Health website features resources on how to build a non-diet lifestyle. www.hugs.com
F.I.T Decisions
F.I.T (Future Identity of Teens) is a weekend conference for teenage girls to teach teens how to live healthful, balanced lives. Nationally-known speakers, drama skits, fashion shows, kick boxing, snacks, and give-aways are part of the all day workshop. www.fitdecisions.org
www.girlpower.gov
The US Department of Health and Human Services has sponsored, Girl Power!, a national public education campaign sponsored designed to provide positive messages, accurate health information, and support for 9- to 13-year-old girls. The website includes statistics, research, materials and information for both adolescents and adults. A free Girl Power! Kit can be ordered via the website.
www.4woman.gov
This site, the National Women’s Health Information Center, is a project of the US Department of Health and Human Services, Office on Women’s Health. Navigate to “Body Image” section of the website and you will find the “Body Wise” handbook and additional information, educational material and additional resources for parents and a variety of professions.
www.bodypositive.com
by D. Burgard, PhD
Videos and workshops that teach young people how to develop a positive body image and have a healthy relationship with food. A new video (2002) Body Talk 2: It's a New Language, is targeted at tweens (ages 8-11).
www.bulimia.com
Gurze Books which include tapes and resources on disordered eating and related topics on body image and obesity.
www.healthyweight.net
The Healthy Weight Network features a journal and Francis Berg's books, Children and Teens Afraid to Eat and other practical resources for educators and health professionals.
www.dhs.vic.gov.au/phd/ebhp/06bodyimage.htm
The Victorian Department of Human Services website has many resources including a summary of body image programs as well as a review of the research evaluating these programs. In addition, you will find a free Resource Planning Kit: “Shape: Body Image Program Planning Guide”.
www.nationaleatingdisorder.org
Provides many programs, books and materials and references (two items offered are listed below).
Remuda Ranch
www.remudaranch.com
Remuda Ranch is an eating disorder treatment center devoted to the unique needs of women and girls and integrate specialized therapies such as art, equine, body image, and movement program components as part of the recovery treatment.
pnis enlargement excersizes vimax penis enlargement video herbal penis enlarement pills penis enlargement photo free penis enhancement magna rx patch best enlagement exercise penis penile enlargement pic penis enlagement supplement
I remember when I was in eighth grade in school years ago and listening to Pink Floyd. I heard a song way back then that became a favourite of mine at the time and still is today. It was called Comfortably numb. At the time of listening to it back then, I thought it was all about heroin abuse.
A year or so later I heard another song by an Australian band called the Choirboys that had lyrics that said: “You don’t need anyone, no you don’t need anyone; when you run the paradise.” Once again I saw this as the paradise that is found by the injection of heroin.
In the movie Pulp Fiction, just a few years ago, I saw the absolutely mind blowing rush one can get from the injection of a needle, and how heroin really is like the big daddy of them all. For even the name itself boasts of its awesome ability and power and how it should be worshipped. We all know about branding and the power of a brand name, if it’s used properly. Just think of Coke, Mc Donald’s, and Disney and suddenly you have an emotion and hopefully a positive emotion come to mind. The word heroin is no mistake. It’s available when you need the ultimate peace and numbness, and you put the father of all drugs into your arm like a doctor gives medicine, you go and put the Hero in.
I am fortunate in one way. I am sure it was an act of God and nothing short of it. As I was growing up, our house was a halfway house for recovering heroin addicts. They came around to our house on rainy Sundays for lunch and when they were healed often stayed with our family until they could find a permanent place of accommodation. They came to us raw and fresh out of rehabilitation. It was their words, and their tears that showed me heroin had its costs on a personal life and wasn’t just the hero in these guy’s life, but their master for many years. They who worshipped the drug and fought, begged borrowed and stole to inject it, were broken individuals who readily cried and told of the horror the drug demanded of them.
Yes, heroin is a powerful drug and I’ll admit that it will make you leave this world we are in, and you will float and kick back into a comfortable numbness. Yes. You won’t need anyone when you run to paradise. But it comes with a price.
I thank God I saw the pain in the drug and never injected it myself. Oh boy I came close and yes I mixed in all the right circles, but I never succumbed to its tantalizing beckoning. And how glad I am that I didn’t! But that isn’t to say those who do are bad people. I just found a better way for myself to find a release.
If it’s comfortable being numb…how can there be comfort in pain?
This was the confusing part for me to work out. How could I enjoy the release which was very pleasurable sleeping with prostitutes, and yet still enjoy the pain of it all in eating breakfast cereals and milk for days because I had no money left?
I read an interesting article once in a psychology magazine. I had never picked one up before that day and have never picked another up since. But in this magazine on this day, whilst I sat in some Doctors surgery for half an hour, I truly learnt the key to the whole puzzle.
We who have addictive tendencies, don’t get a choice in what we become addicted to.
What? I hear you say. Yeah well its strange isn’t it? It’s not all that hard to grasp really. You know that song that you hear and you just can’t get it out of your head. Every time the radio plays it, you spend half a day singing it to yourself. Even years later when “Run to paradise” comes on, I still get caught up with the emotions I was feeling that day. I absolutely love that song.
Well that’s how a habit is formed. Repetition. The more I hear it, the more stronger my emotional response, the more I am addicted to it, or attracted to it. Even if it’s a not so pleasurable experience. Even if that experience is being beaten by your father in a fit of rage. The more he does it, the more I emotionally respond, the more I begin to crave that negative emotion. You become addicted to the pain. And in some ways when life is going along fine, if you are missing that pain in your life, you actively seek it out.
It's sad really. That’s why a woman stays with a man who beats her up. That’s why a junkie sells his soul for the junk he puts up his arm and that’s why a person will ritually cut themselves to feel the rush of pain. We are addicted to the pain, just as much as to the pleasure. And just like light follows darkness, after the pleasure we seek the pain, and when we are in pain we seek the pleasure, and we continue to exist.
We all enjoy feeling comfortable. We all enjoy being safe and secure where we are. Take us away from what we know, take us to another state or city suddenly and tell us to deal with it and we have a problem. We need to change slowly, but given the choice we like to stay with what we know. Why else would a country approve of a president who blatantly lies to his people? We don’t like change and we only do it if forced upon us. It’s only when a wife is beaten so very badly that the authorities step in and keep her from her husband by locking him up, that the wife accepts separation. But she has no choice in this matter. So she quickly goes out to a pub and finds another guy to beat her up.
She can’t help it. She doesn’t like getting beaten up. And her friends can’t understand her for going back. But that’s the only sort of love she knows and that’s the only love her daddy taught her. He regularly beat her mother up and in between beating her he made love to her mother and brought her presents home from work. And if he was a fine example of an alcoholic father he even made special visits to his daughter’s room to comfort her and run his filthy hands over her and molest her.
Oh yes She remembers the love, and she remembers the pain, and somehow they melded into one, and that was called life. To her, or to the heroin addict or to you the reader, life is all about feeling comfortable with our lot and coping as best we can in the circumstances.
How do I know about pain….
Have you ever had a man shove his penis up your behind? I mean shove it right in there so you can feel the tears flowing down your cheeks. Have you ever had to lay down and push your bum in the air and let a beast put it into you with all his might? It’s not fun. Its not love, and if you’ve been there, it’s not something you forget real easy. Worse still is the guilt you feel for putting yourself in the position that allowed it. Oh what a fool you were. If only you weren’t so craving pain in your life, things like this wouldn’t happen. And soon you believe it is all your fault. And then you begin to take comfort in the pain.
One day you are seeking the pain. One day you become comfortably numb. You go through the motions, you allow the lightning pain, and you switch off to it by a sheer act of will power. It seems as you lie there and let a man rip your insides with his penis that Pink Floyd may have been singing about this pain when they were singing. Maybe it wasn’t heroin, but the pain, and you’re switching off to it all, that makes you numb. Maybe you weren’t as smart as you thought you were when you are young, and the wisdom of a life half lived has served to give your life a richer and more rewarding tapestry.
It’s a sad cycle. The addicted are addicted to the week of poverty and no food after one night down at the pokies or one night with the prostitutes. We feel lonely, hopeless and we have no hope in life, so we confirm what a sad person we are when we live in poverty and prove with cheap clothes a free charity meals that we really are a loser like everyone things we are. It’s not fun eating cereal for a week. It’s not fun nursing a black eyes once very few weeks, it’s not fun having to go up the street everyday saying can people spare you change for a bus fare, it’s not fun, but we are so useless and we are so lacking in self worth we just love the feeling of shame, guilt and stupidity and we beat ourselves up with it. We make all our promises. If he beats me up one more time I will leave. If that girl does not kiss me this time I am never going to see her again. If this jockey does not ride that horse in next week that is it for me and punting. We are weak, we are hopeless and we are addicted to feeling that way.
The hardest thing about not sleeping with a prostitute for three months is not feeling the week of guilt after we have partaken of that sin. Especially when you are a Christian. It’s fine not to get the high, but how am I going to get that rush of guilt each week that I am in love with and addicted to?
And then there is the high. It’s in the paper ringing private escorts working in their own rented apartments and interviewing them one by one a few days before you get the money. You narrow it down and pick one and then five hours after you have been paid you are in bed with her. No matter how much you cry to God about your wicked sin, here you are trying to bring pleasure to a professional so that you can feel like a man and have a good time, and if she’s a professional she’ll have you convinced you did bring her to orgasm. If this is all to crude for you, you can jump to the next paragraph. In twenty years of this addiction, I have only been convinced of about three orgasms of the prostitutes I have been with. And boy, twenty years worth of once a week, or once every two weeks of seeing a sex worker, you do the maths, that’s why I don’t own a house.
You see I am poorly dressed and poor in assets and have never had any reason to really write a will because most of my life my addiction kept me broke.
Boy I can relate to people in addictions. The only way I came out of my addiction the time the original of this piece was written in 2005 and now in 2006 my two successful times of reprieve from the addiction was when I repented with many tears before God with all my heart and not wishing with all my heart to ever go back to these ladies. I had to love the girls and stay away and not abuse them, I had to love God enough not to break His heart with my sin with sleeping with a girl I was not married to, and I had to love myself enough not to degrade my self esteem by becoming a sex starved brute.
The only way out of my addiction was to hate it.
The problem with many of us is this addiction to the highs and the lows.
Oh I know about the rush of horse racing I did that for many years. There’s nothing like buying a car from your winnings one week. There’s nothing like seeing your horse win the race and it’s because you were a smart little punter watching all of that horses races since it first started racing and knowing that it can only win certain races at certain distances according to the track, the rider, the breeding and the time in the current campaign it is in. There’s a skill of knowing which race the owner and trainer are wanting to win with the horse and what races the horse is only racing to stay fit. There’s knowing which jockey will ride the horse when the horse has got to look like its trying to win the race and it’s the race favourite, but the owner, the trainer and the serious in the know punters connected to the stable want it not even to run a place and definitely at all costs do not want it to win the race. There really are so many factors to consider as a horse punter, it’s no wonder big high profile people in the business world are kings and respected for placing million dollar bets.
Racing stroked my ego on the high side when I won, and when I had a big loss on a big punt it made me feel like the loser I was when I lost. So how could I lose? lol
And what about today five years on?
I am comfortable and I am not addicted any more. I attend a church where I am loved and I have began to preach in a few churches. My Lord Jesus trusts me today to help strangers find their way to Him and to healing and I am in love with myself. I am quite impressed with what articles I have written five years ago and a lot has happened in my life since then. I have been Baptised and now have some giftings that Jesus has given me so that I can better witness to people. He has given the ability to "Know" a person's pain and their struggle and know things about them that they haven't told me. He gives me the ability to give strangers a message from Him and that just makes me so happy to be out and about doing that.
I have not seen my son in six years and that is sad but it was his mother's wish and I didn't fight it. I have had another breakdown and now am wiser and have stayed on my medication for four years without a serious incident. It seems the more hard balls life throws at me the more confident I am in the power and the love of Jesus to pull you through anything.
I really enjoy sharing a message with a person through prophecy when Jesus speaks through me as I really enjoy seeing Him speak. He is such a magnificent, wonderful, caring and patient God that was man. It is so good to have a God in heaven called Jesus who thinks and reasons like a man but with all the power of God behind Him.
Jesus is just so real to me. I have seen Him in visions close to ten times now and some of them have been so very memorable. He told me once that I was his hidden treasure and if you are reading this I am sure He would tell you the same also. He is so sweet, I do not need another person to sustain me. He is my everything and He is such a loyal and honest and caring friend.
With much love,
