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The holidays are touted to be the time of year to be joyful and most of all have fun and spend time with family and/or friends. For some, however, the holidays when families and/or friends gather to celebrate and share the joy of the season are not joyful. Because family matters are conducted behind closed doors this 'unhappy event' goes unnoticed and the victim of this cruel experience takes its toll. I speak of the unspeakable—sexual child abuse. Countless children are abused at family gatherings. While everyone is talking, laughing and having a good time, beloved Uncle Lewey, Grandpa or family friend, walks out of the living room (ostensibly to go to the bathroom) but instead goes into his niece's/granddaughter's or family friend’s room, where she is 'hanging out.' He nonchalantly chats with her and before she realizes what he is about to do, he has planted a kiss on her lips and forced his tongue into her mouth and/or fondles her breast. He then tells her she is so sexy he couldn’t stop himself, she is very special and it is their secret or he threatens her that if she tells he will say she is a 'liar' or worse yet, she 'came onto' him. Thus, she is forced into silence and shame. While I realize this scenario is difficult to fathom, it is all too real and all too frequent. However, this scenario doesn't need to end tragically, something can be done to prevent or mitigate it. No one is born a molester, yet all too often victims become perpetrators. Sexual child abuse has become a family tradition-Uncle Lewey was abused by his father, mother, uncle, cousin or aunt and now he has abused his niece. Or grandpa was abused by someone and he now has abused his granddaughter. How, you may ask, can this be possible when so many people are around-no one would risk being seen sexually abusing a child? Unfortunately, this rationalization merely avoids accepting the truth about sexual abuse perpetrators. It only takes a second to abuse a child. Furthermore, few people recognize what constitutes sexual child abuse. Sexual touch—a sensuous or ‘wet’ kiss on the lips, touching or fondling erogenous areas cause as much trauma as genital contact. All sexual abuse and/or sexual touch is damaging because it is first and foremost a betrayal of trust. PREVENTION is possible. However, for a child to be able to prevent this experience, she or he needs to have knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection. Without knowledge of and permission to exercise self-protection, the only defense a child has against any kind of abuse is to accept the blame. A child cannot conceive the idea, "My father, uncle, mother, grandpa, grandma, aunt, brother, sister, cousin, friend, teacher, or baby-sitter is sick and is harming me." Therefore, the only way to survive sexual abuse or incest is to assume that it is his or her fault. A child has unquestioning trust for everyone in the family or persons of acquaintance or authority. Parents generally teach girls to be passive, compliant, non-assertive, co-operative and reward them for doing so. Girls are raised to be 'quiet, sweet and pretty' they are never to make a 'scene.' It is not surprising then, that girls are (according to statistics) twice as likely to be sexually abused. Perpetrators know who and how to target their victims. Boys are taught, expected and praised to be tough and self-assured, even at times when something troubles them. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior usually means passivity while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Self-protection offers a direct and effective way to empower children to help themselves. Since perpetrators cunningly and with forethought sets the stage to perpetrate this crime in secrecy, who is better able than the child to protect him or herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize; they sense this by the child's demeanor, body language and facial expressions. They sense the fear, the helplessness, their compliant attitude and their passivity. Perpetrators choose victims who they assume will keep their secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. The first response the majority of people form when hearing of sexual abuse or incest is denial. 'I do not have to be concerned about that in my community. This would never happen in my family.' The unbelievable reality is that a person who sexually abuses children may seem very average and ordinary to the world. He or she may be a leader in the church, in the community or in business. He or she does not fit a classic stereotype and is not necessarily uneducated, unemployed, impoverished or an alcoholic. Furthermore, we find sexual abuse and incest even more difficult to believe or accept when the person we like, admire, love, and/or marry is the perpetrator of the abuse. Tragically, the unwillingness to accept the facts concerning sexual abuse perpetrators leaves children vulnerable to becoming victims and increases the likelihood that they will be abused. 'Traditionally, incest was defined as: sexual intercourse between two persons too closely related to marry legally--sex between siblings, first cousins, the seduction by fathers of their daughters. This dysfunctional blood relationship, however, does not completely describe what children are experiencing. To fully understand all sexual abuse, we need to look beyond the blood bond and include the emotional bond between the victim and his or her perpetrator. Thus, a new definition has emerged. The new definition now relies less on the blood bond between the victim and the perpetrator and more on the experience of the child. Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child's expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator's age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated. (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors)." Sexual abuse can be as subtle (covert) as any person showing pornographic pictures or movies to a child. It is any man hugging a child while pressing his hard penis against her. It is anyone consistently invading a child's privacy, such as entering the bathroom or bedroom without knocking, catching her unaware and indisposed. It is playfully pulling her swimsuit bottom down in the pool or pulling her panties down without her permission. Sexual abuse is anyone bathing the child when the child is old enough to bathe herself. It is any person who touches or caresses the child in ways she does not like or in ways that are sexual. It is any man holding a child on his lap when he has an erection. It is any trusted adult who stares at or makes comments about the child's body. It is anyone kissing the child in a way that is sexual for the giver. It is seemingly innocuous touching, wrestling, tickling, or playing which has sexual overtones or meaning for the other person. Sexual abuse is as blatant (overt) as instructing or asking the child to lie in bed in an intimate position, fondling, digital, penis or object penetration of the rectum or vagina, or instructing a child to perform oral sex or performing oral sex on the child. It is forcing the child to touch others or be touched by others, including other children. A classic example of covert sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by a 39 year-old woman who came to me after having a severe panic attack. During our investigation as to what was the root cause of the panic attack she revealed she had been sexually abused when she was nine by a 'nice man,' who was a family friend. "He helped me on with my coat while attending a family gathering. As he adjusted my coat onto my shoulder, he fondled my breast." This type fondling is often times referred to as 'coping a feel.' No matter the label, it is sexual abuse and causes damage. As an adult woman you know how icky it feels when a man 'cops a feel.' Can you imagine what it would feel like for a nine-year-old, who has no information to comprehend and emotionally resolve what she experienced? Overt sexual abuse is openly sexual and apparent. Although there may be an attempt to deny that it is abusive, there is no attempt to hide the fact that it is sexual in nature. Covert sexual abuse is more insidious. Thus, identifying it is harder, because the sexual nature of the action is disguised. The perpetrator acts as if she or he is doing something non-sexual, when in fact he or she is being sexual. The betrayal then becomes two-fold. The child is not only abused, but also tricked or deceived about the act. In this dishonesty, the child is unable to identify or clarify his or her perception of the experience. The unreal or surreal sense that accompanies any sexual abuse is intensified when the child is tricked into disbelief. Thus, the child doubts his or her perceptions and feelings and believes that there is something wrong with himself or herself because he or she feels terrible. To make matters worse, everyone around her or him acts as if nothing is wrong. Thus, she or he feels crazy, as if she or he is the one with the problem. A classic example of overt sexual abuse while people are present is exemplified by the incident a client, who is a sexual abuse survivor, reported about seeing her father (her perpetrator) kiss her one-year-old niece on the pubic area after her niece had taken a bath. Her sister, the child's mother, the child's grandmother, (wife of the perpetrator) were present. "My sister and mother (the child's grandmother) laughed and I got sick to the stomach. Am I over reacting," she asked. Obviously, her sister and mother are unaware of the definition of sexual abuse. Except for the fact this woman was in recovery and could clarify the experience she would not have considered it sexual abuse either. The frightening truth about sexual abuse and incest perpetrators is that within their mindset, they do not hold beliefs reflecting society's moral and ethical values. Because of a child's innocence and trust of the abuser, usually pressure or violence is not required. Thus, the sexual abuse or incest perpetrator can unequivocally state, "Never ever. I could never harm a child or anyone. It's not in my heart. It's not who I am." Michael Jackson, 1993. Sexual abuse and incest perpetrators frequently pass lie detector tests. They feel no inner conflict with what they have done. Their moral and ethical values do not reflect the standards on which the test is based. If you have the slightest cause for concern, trust your intuition and seek professional intervention. Trusting and acting on our intuition or sixth sense is paramount to protecting children from perpetrators, no matter whether they are family members, family friends, doctors, dentists, teachers, etc. When intuitiveness or a sixth sense has been activated in detecting danger, it can be identified by a change in one's physiology. First: Accept the fact that sexual abuse perpetrators may seem very average and ordinary to the world. In spite of all the reports of sexual abuse by pillars of the community-teachers, clergy, coaches, we still want to cling to the belief that a sexual abuse perpetrator is the disheveled man with a scraggly beard, wearing a dirty trench coat. It is difficult to believe the people we like, admire, trust and love would do such a heinous thing. Second: Accept the definition of sexual abuse. (See definition above) Third: Know the signs your child is being targeted: Self-protection offers a direct and effective method for children to protect themselves. Who, other than the child, is in a better position to protect him/herself? Perpetrators say they can sense a child to victimize. They can tell by the child's demeanor, body language, and facial expression. They sense the fear, the helplessness, the passivity. They chose a child who is easily intimidated or controlled so hopefully the child won't tell. Secrecy is paramount for the perpetrator. Whenever a person is traumatized, he or she resorts to familiar behavior; for girls this behavior is usually passivity, while boys usually 'tough it out'-thinking if they are strong and unemotional, no harm can occur. Sexual crimes against children can only be committed if the perpetrator finds someone who will hopefully keep the secret. No child needs to fall prey to these cunning predators. There are seven child tested, parent approved sexual child abuse prevention techniques, which will protect your child from the most cunning predators. If you heed and investigate these warning signals you can prevent continued abuse. Warning signals include: • * an aversion to a person, place or event. • * outbursts of anger and there is no apparent reason known for such anger. • * any unusual or unexplained behavior change. Ceasing an activity that was once done without hesitation. • * not wanting to be around a particular person. • * family member/friend seems to foster a relationship with your child more for him/herself than for your child. • * secretiveness between the child and adult Fourth: What to do: • * Teach Good/Appropriate Touch with regard to anyone. • * Teach Appropriate Body Boundaries with regard to anyone. • * Foster Self-Esteem and Good Body Image • * Teach the "Tell Mommy and Daddy Everything-No Secrets rule. • * Allow your child to command respect regarding dislikes and touch with family members, friends or authority figures. • * Talk with and listen to your child until you are satisfied the aversion is unrelated to improper behavior by anyone. • * Check on your child occasionally whenever they are with another adult or other times to become 'known' as an attentive parent. • * Trust and honor your child's intuitive reactions. If your child feels uncomfortable with someone, respect their intuitive sense—honor their intuitive sense. • * Appropriate Suspicion—trusting and acting on your intuition or sixth sense is paramount. If you have confusion regarding a person's actions, nagging/persistent thoughts or feelings, hesitation, general suspicion, apprehension, fear, doubt, a hunch, curiosity regarding a person's actions or statements, or questions regarding a person's proclamation that is not substantiated by their actions—trust your intuition or sixth sense. • * If you err in evaluating the situation, make the error on the side of caution. The important factor is not that you have avoided offending someone, but that you have protected your child's interest. • * Remember it only takes a second to sexually abuse anyone—child or adult penis enlargement review enlargement manhattan penile surgeon do penis enhancement pills work natural pnis enlargement exercise penile enlargement product penis enlagement pic natural pennis enlargement and lengthening enlargement forum free matter penis size

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Ladies, if you find yourself asking your male companion that killer trick question "do I look fat", then let’s be honest, you are doing so for one of four reasons: you are fat, you are feeling fat, you are vain, or you are in need of attention. And if you haven’t figured it out already, you should know that any man worth his salt has learned one thing: to answer certain female trick questions immediately, firmly, and with a clear, riveted gaze. It is all about the rudimentary, involuntary-reflex response, "No. You look perfect!" It is not an answer, but simply a male maneuver to buy another minute until one can figure out for which reason the question was asked in the first place. And most men, even the most boorish, know the various permutations of the trick question too. For instance, the indirect method: "Do these jeans look too tight?" "No. They fit perfect." Or the slick double-secret-probation approach: "Do you still love me, even though I’ve gained weight?" "Yes I do. And you look perfect." Or the subtle non-question question: "I think I need to go on a diet." "No you don’t. You look perfect." There can be no hesitation, no darting eyes, no mincing of words when the response is given. If one does, one deserves to become the sorry sack of shittolla one is about to become. My theory is that men whose fathers or mothers did not prepare them falter exactly once. Depending on the female partner, the offender is either killed (the lightest sentence), or treated to a year of hard time, at the conclusion of which the guilty party either has learned all the correct rudimentary involuntary-reflex responses or has joined the gay ranks or has become a monk vowed to a life of silence. Well no matter how one gets there, for guys in the know, the rudimentary involuntary-responses are the easy part, after all they are as routine as lifting up the toilet seat—another gem that was hopefully hammered into us in our formative years. The hard part is trying to figure out the real reason for the question and choosing what the appropriate follow-up response is. To enlighten those males who have not advanced to this stage, let me help you, let me show you the logic, let me give you hope. Let’s walk through this together. There’ll be fanny pats at the end if you get it. So the trick question is asked. We immediately regurgitate the appropriate robotic response. We have about a minute to figure out her reason for asking and if a follow-up is required. That moment of male mental gymnastics is more tension packed than the last episode of 24. As daunting as it might seem, it’s not so bad if we break it down like any other business problem. 1. She actually is fat. Beware! She ISN’T interested in your confirmation. She probably just got a glimpse of herself in a mirror, is feeling really lousy about, but uninterested in doing anything about. If she were interested in doing something about it, trust me she wouldn’t be asking you for an opinion! Unless you want a situation, it’s best to leave this one alone and say nothing in follow-up. And just in the event that you are toying with the idea of saying something that even slightly acknowledges her extra pounds, take an honest look at yourself first. There is a good chance you aren’t winning any Mr. Olympia trophies soon. So grab a bag of cheese doodles and take your lard-ass to the couch, lest you say something you will regret. 2. She feels fat. This is a ticklish one at first but in the end is as simple as number 1 above. She may feel fat because she is fat in which case she may be coming to grips with her fatness. That might be a good thing. Let her be; say nothing after the usual required response. The other possibility is that she might just plain feel some of that there bloating issue women get around that pre-you-not-what-but-I’m-not-allowed-to-say-because-it’s-sexist-but-really-not-because-it’s-true time. If this is the case, a poorly timed darting glance down at her belly could be suicidal. Don’t do it no matter how temptingt! Even if she lifts her belly-shirt and points. Don’t look! Stay focused and reaffirm the rudimentary involuntary-reflex response by changing it up a bit, "Get outta here: "am I fat"! You look perfect! If anyone’s fat it’s me!" Then volunteer to fold her underwear. Do something. Get out of there lickitty split. 3. She is vain. This is a tough one for me personally. If she is thin as rail and is just vacuuming for loose compliments, I have a tendency to want to give her something to think about; really feed into her low self esteem that seems so willfully misplaced. Again, it’s best to fight the urge, shut your hole and be glad it’s not a real issue. There are two corollaries to this though. If this trick question stuff is a recent development, one may want to nip it in the bud before one ends up with someone who is vain all the time—not a very good thing. The standard knee-jerk response may be rewarding bad behavior subconsciously. After your minute of thinking is up, you might want to follow-up with the direct approach, "You know, I sense a little vanity there. Are you becoming a little vain? Feeling pretty good about yourself aren’t you?" Give her a chance to react. She probably will flash a little devilish grin, the type that acknowledges she has been caught. You then close with, "Nothing wrong with feeling good about yourself and occasionally fishing for a compliment. And sweetie, I’d compliment you all day long, if I didn’t think that it would eventually swell that pretty head of yours up so big that it starts to clunk off the walls and furniture and stuff; breaking the family crystal and all. That would be terrible." Ah, the beauty of a little disarming humor. In the other scenario, if you find yourself on the down-side of the relationship with the self-absorbed twit and looking to speed up the inevitable, you might say casually, "Yeah, I’ve noticed those little bulges in your lower back. But they’re not so bad. No one’s perfect anyway." Then see if you can walk out of the room without a ring bouncing off your balding skull. The beauty of this retort is that she can’t see what you playfully pointed out—short of setting up a room full of mirrors anyway. It’s effective, satisfying and guaranteed the desired results. Plus you’ll be able to hock the ring she threw at you for some cold poker cash. 4. She needs attention. This is the most prickly reason she might be asking and not easily recognized by "X & Y" humans. Chances are she isn’t overweight. Chances are you might deduce falsely "she feels fat" because it’s that time of you-know-what-because-I-can’t-say-month. Before you settle on that or any other conclusion for that matter, take a few seconds more. Could it be that she just wants to know she is attractive to you because you have been so self absorbed with work or football or your thinning hair that you haven’t in the past year at least once looked her in the eye and told her she is the most beautiful person in your world? If she has to demean herself this way to check in on your attention, the fat she is referring to is from the heavy tumor you have become on her self esteem. And if you have even the slightest pang that this might be true, that she may need attention, you better drop whatever lame thing it is that you are doing, praise her up and down and make a mental note not to allow her to sink to this lowly place again. She may ask only once or twice more before she decides you are malignant and opts for immediate, radical surgery to remove the cancerous growth you’ve become. By the way, women don’t have a lock on trick questions. Men do the same thing, just about male stuff. For instance, a man might mumble within earshot after coming out of the shower, "I wish my penis were bigger." It may not be in the form of a question but this isn’t Jeopardy either. It sure as hell is a cry for a little simpleminded ego building. Something like, "honey, you could jack up an eighteen wheeler with that thing" would go a long way. I suppose lesbian and gay couples eventually dive down (so to speak) into the same sad depths with equally problematic maneuvers. The truth is I really don’t know what the answer is to avoid the certainty of these trick questions. Honesty in communication feels right and is even noteworthy but it’s not always effective. "Am I fat?" "Honey, you get any fatter and we’ll have to pay resident taxes to two states!" or "I wish my penis were bigger." "You and me both! It’s like reading Braille with my vagina." I suppose a simple "yes you are" or nod of agreement would be a better way to be honest without the immediate blood shed; the key word being "immediate." But eventually honesty will require your blood to flow. So what is it we can do differently from scripting our escape? I guess nothing. Maybe it is just a condition of human relationships. I just can’t help but think though there is a better way. In the meantime, I’ll continue to brush up responses to new and improved trick questions. There is no time to relaxing, letting our guard down. "Is my butt sagging?" "Sagging? Are you kidding me? You could crack walnuts with that thing." Not bad! manual penile enlargment exercise pennis enlargement before and after picture vimax herbal penis enlargement penis elargement information free pennis enlargement tip penis enlarement surgery pnis enlargement product free pennis enlargement exercise extra pro solution strength

At the Federal Trade Commission we have seen attorneys who suffer from the vice of buggery get promoted to higher and more important international divisions. Now then, are these attorneys who have personal sexual problems and are breaking the laws of sodomy not wanted in the main group of Federal Trade Commission Employees? Is the FTC worried about sexual harassment laws? Are they worried about on-the-clock Men’s Restroom “Quickies” and the possibility of the need for an unflattering in-house employee investigation becoming public? Is the Federal Trade Commission afraid to fire these buggerists, for some employee unlawful termination suit? Is buggery so pervasive that the FTC has to invent new titles for these guys so they can be moved up in rank to other divisions? If so why doesn’t the FTC adopt a “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy” to prevent special treatment of those who suffer from buggery? Can’t the FTC get psychological help for these men who thrust their penis up another man’s rectum? Obviously these human organs were not set up to do that. We know that the FTC continually screw with the natural order of competition and evolutionary progress of efficient competition and survival of the fittest businesses. But why are they now trying to modify humankind’s evolution? If Sodomy is against the law, why is the FTC not doing backend checks of their employees; after all if they are breaking the laws behind closed doors at home or in the Men’s Restroom at the Federal Trade Commission, then obviously they do not care about our laws in this country. Several have threatened to move to Canada now that Homosexual Marriage has been legalized, yet to this day have not made good on their personal promises. Additionally an FTC attorney has access to information, secret courts, other agencies and abuse of power is ramped in that agency? In one case we studied an FTC attorney was put on an International Fraud Team, thus going to other nations to represent our nation. This of course is not a very good moral showing for the United States and could get serious if they are spreading their legs and spreading AIDS. If so the FTC is liable for whatever happens to those who contract the disease. Furthermore if a person of strong moral character is needed to curb international fraud, then why allow anyone who has the vice of buggery to represent this great nation or our Justice Department? Let’s face it there are employees in the Federal Trade Commission who need help and if this is the fine folks in government we are suppose to respect as a Free Nation and Free Men, then; well, we have not come very far in our mission to: Truth, Justice and the American Way. How can a man administer and monitor the laws, yet break them on their personal time. We deserve more. The FTC is full of employees who suffer from the vice of buggery. Think about it.